Monday, June 13, 2011

Happy Birthday to Blaine

I have a 9 year old.

I'm not really sure how that happened.  I mean, I know the mechanics of it all, but how did 9 years go so fast?

He's 9.  And he will be in 4th grade.  And he has an iPhone that he loves to text on.  And he's brilliant and compassionate and wise way beyond his years.  I learn something new from him every day, even if what I am learning is the limits of my patience.

He is my first born.  Wished for, hoped for, prayed for.  Years of trying with no luck and then one day two pink lines showed up and 9 months later (well, to be exact, 9.5 months, thankyouverymuchstubbornbaby) I held him in my arms.  He was 10 pounds of perfect joy.  Blue eyes that never changed.  Tiny little hands that grabbed my heart and my soul and never let go.  I read somewhere, and I don't remember where and I am sure I will get the exact quote wrong, that having a child is like taking your heart out of your chest and letting it walk around on two legs. At the age of 10 months Blaine was my walking heart.  Or in his case, my running, falling, tumbling, oh my God he's scraped his face/knees/elbows again heart.

I remember looking at him in the hospital when I was trying to get his flailing legs and arms in his cream and blue baby outfit and thinking "well, what the hell do I do now?!?" and the hospital photographer, who was waiting for me to get him ready for the standard cone-head, red squinty-faced newborn shot offered to help.  "I have three kids, it's gets easier" she said as she deftly tucked him into his outfit without breaking a sweat.  I had a college education and getting him into that outfit was like quantum physics to me so I marveled at the ease with which she managed it and wondered if I was capable.  A part of me was astonished when I was discharged from the hospital.  They were letting me take this child home?  I can't even get him dressed and they expect me to be responsible for him for the rest of his life? Are they nuts?

So I did what mothers since time began have done.  I called my mother.  And she came.  And she cared for us.  She still cares for us.  She and Blaine get to enjoy and annoy each other on a regular basis and I'm so glad they do.

I remember years without sleep.  Blaine was always a light sleeper and did not sleep alone in his bed through the night until he was 3 and I was pregnant with his sister.  I was tired of having the bed hogged by someone so tiny, but then I missed him when he got the hang of it and no longer crawled in bed at 3 am and stole my pillow.  He still crawls in bed with me some mornings when he wakes before I do, but not as frequently and not for as long.  He's getting too old for that.  Soon he will want me to drop him off a block from school and he will be embarrassed by me.  I know that.  I know all kids do that at some point.  But I hope it isn't anytime soon because my heart still catches and skips a beat when he runs up to me when I pick him up from school and hugs me tight.  I cherish each hug, each kiss, each "I love you" and I'm storing them up for the day the hormone monster steals my sweet, lovable boy and changes him into a surly teenager.

Blaine is the best big brother in the world.  He eagerly anticipated the birth of his sister, bragging to everyone about the car seat, crib, outfits and toys we bought for Kyra before she was born.  Though I worried that he would be jealous and would resent no longer being my only, he loved her with a fierceness from the beginning.  He would get anxious when she would cry and would, on more than one memorable occasion, cry out "MOM!  Kyra is crying!  She is hungry!  She needs to eat your boobie!"  Ah, breastfeeding and an inquisitive 3 year old.  What a fun and embarrassing combination.  He can't wait for Kyra to start Kindergarten next year so that she can ride the bus with him and he can show her the ropes.  He is, as all older brothers are, a schmuck to his sister sometimes, but he is also her protector, her teacher, her best friend and her lovey.

All in all, I'm the luckiest mom in the world.  And I have been for 9 years.  That is awesomeness.

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